For many years now I've identified myself as an Atheist because I don't believe in the bible, Jesus or religion. It was something that was hard to admit to myself & then even harder to admit to family. My parents were heartbroken, as if I failed them or they failed me, when it wasn't about any of that at all - I just couldn't pretend anymore.
I've never been one of those atheist who would tell someone they are wrong for believing in any of it but just that I don't believe in it. I've always been one to think, if it brings you peace & doesn't harm or hinder anyone else, believe in monkeys for all I care; whereas I know so many people automatically assume all atheist hate people who believe & think they're idiots for it. I can't say that I understand how people can believe in a book written according to disciples thousands of years ago when a game of telephone with 15 people can't get a message across a room correctly or that I can understand people who say they do things that are hateful in the name of God but I by no means assume every Christian to be the same.
I don't really know when I stopped believing in Jesus, maybe I always had doubts but my young mind wouldn't go there because we went to church as kids, Sunday school, I was confirmed, the whole nine yards & I felt like I had to believe in it all. I think I wanted to really believe in it all but eventually my lack of faith in the unseen & my lack of feeling connected lead me to my current truths about religion.
I've been thinking about god lately though & my beliefs; I think I'm more Agnostic than Atheist because although I do not for one second believe in Jesus, I truly do believe there is something bigger than all of us.
There is a force in this world, some just call it the Universe, directing the ebbs & flows of our lives, the energy we put in & give out, it comes back to us. I believe in that with everything I am & all that I have. I believe if you work hard enough & believe in something with enough positive energy, good things will come to you. I believe we control our destiny with the way we think & the energy we put out into the world. If we hold on to negative feelings & energy they will fester in unimaginable ways. That's partly why I'm so glad that I'm not one to hold grudges, they're bad for your health & mental well-being but also because you can't have a positive life & be a negative person.
Being pregnant with our second child is what made me start to question my beliefs again. How could I think there isn't something bigger than us when I was told by so many Doctors that I'd have a hard time getting pregnant & I'm going to have a second child? I have to believe that this is part of a bigger plan, that this baby, much like it's big sister, came to us because I felt like it was something I wanted. Neither of our children were planned but they both happened around times when I spent an inordinate amount of free time looking at baby clothes, baby names & seeing myself holding newborns. I can understand how kooky that all sounds but it's my truth. I knew that this baby was going to happen because of the way it's sister happened. There was no real reason for me to be able to get pregnant the first time & plenty of mothers struggle the second time, but my body did what I didn't think it could do, twice. If that's not something bigger than all of us, I don't know what is but I'm not comfortable calling that something god or Jesus.
I don't know what I'll tell Katie when she starts encountering people who believe in god openly because she knows nothing about god or religion at this point in her life. I'm okay with that because I want her to grow to learn things that interest her & feel right for her, I don't want religious guilt to hang over her if she doesn't believe what she's being taught. I want her to question things & know that whatever she chooses to believe in whether it be Jesus, Allah, Buddha or nothing at all, I'm okay with it & her decisions as long as she's a good person. I don't believe morals need to be attached to religion, because there are so many religious people who are very immoral & hypocritical. I want her to know that right & wrong are all that matter in life, the spiritual being she believes in doesn't change right & wrong. I want her to believe in love, kindness & acceptance.
I really feel like allowing myself to feel a connection to the Universe & accepting that I do believe in something bigger than all of us gives me a peace of mind that I've been missing. So, peace & love once again reign supreme in my life. Thank you, Universe for all you have given me.
Showing posts with label religion. Show all posts
Showing posts with label religion. Show all posts
Friday, March 20, 2015
Wednesday, December 19, 2012
Five days ago it all changed
Five days ago, the Western world changed forever. Five days ago, parents collectively hugged their children a little tighter. Five days ago, innocence was lost. Five days ago, America fell apart..
The loss of the lives of those 20 beautiful children crushed the hearts of parents near & far. I can't stop thinking about those babies. The oldest of them was 7, how is that possible? How did twenty children get massacred? How did this happen in a 'civilized' society? I don't understand it all.
In the days following, people have been giving their vastly differing points of view. Some of these people have been Pastors who use the pulpit to spread hate, some are psychotic jackasses like the Westboro Baptist Church, most, however, are Moms & Dads like you & I. We've heard it's lack of gun control, lack of help for mental health, lack of this or that. The fact is, it doesn't matter what it is, what matters is that they take action on all the small factors that add up to the 14th of December happening.
I've been enraged many times in the last five days over the suggestion that it's about putting 'God' back in school. This, to me, is complete foolishness. It's insulting. It's a lack of caring for other people. It is segregation of sorts. Sure, Christians believe in Jesus & God, and that is great for them but what about the mass amount of children in schools who don't believe in Jesus OR God?? The Hindu children, the Muslim children, the Jewish children, the Buddhist children, even *gasp* the Atheist/Agnostic children!
God has no place in schools, none, whatsoever. He should be in the hearts of the children who believe in Him. If they want to pray, I believe it is their right to do so, to try & force their beliefs on another child, though, is not right. North America is made of so many cultures & religions that no one religion should be forced upon anyone. It's like saying, sorry, we are now forcing you to eat pork in school. Some religions don't believe in eating pork, but hey, who cares what they believe, we want our bacon!!!
Anyone who believes that God being in schools could have stopped this horrific event, needs to give their head a shake, really hard...then possibly check yourself into the nearest psych ward. God had no way to stop this. Humans did this. We did this ourselves, to ourselves. Western society is to blame for this. The acceptance of violence, the allowing it to continue, that is what caused this.
The guns...oh..America, what is with your love affair with guns. Why does anyone need to have the 'right' to own a semi-automatic killing machine? If you want your shotguns, fill your boots! Chances are no one is getting very far in a mass shooting with a shotgun...chances are someone attempting to shoot up a school with a shotgun is going to get jumped...chances are America is not going to let go of the death grip on guns and that terrifies me.
I've thought of those 20 babies every single day, I can't stop thinking of them. They were massacred with a Bushmaster XM-15 .223-caliber semi-automatic assault-style rifle. What the hell!?! Isn't America supposed to be a civilized society? Why does that style of gun need to be owned for protection? Who is coming for anyone that would require a weapon of that stature to protect themselves or their families?! Last time I checked there wasn't any army of hate so fierce that any person would require a semi-automatic assault-style rifle for protection at home in the Western world, anyhow.
I am really angry at the people who believe in God & think he should be in schools because it's selfish. It is just the most selfish thing I have ever heard! Why is your God better than the God anyone else believes in? What makes your God the 'right' one?? Also, does your God not teach you that he is always with you? I believe he does, because I was brought up to believe in him. You don't need him in schools.
I know that religion is a very controversial subject, so I want to VERY clear. If you believe in Jesus, God, Allah, Buddha, the Universe, or if you don't believe in anything at all, I very, very much believe it is your right to do so, but please don't preach that your beliefs are better than that of anyone else. Please don't try & convince me that if the higher power you believe in was in schools, these horrific acts wouldn't happen. I think we can pretty much guarantee that on December 14th, Adam Lanza was not thinking about what God would think, I don't think if he believed in God that it would have mattered, because what he did that day, he did with malice. I don't think being taught about God in school would have made him stop & say 'hmmm, maybe I shouldn't massacre 20 innocent children & 6 adults...yeah, that would make God mad'. You don't need God to know right from wrong.
Morals & ethics are what children need to be taught. They need to be taught the regular subjects, but they need to be taught compassion, the value of another human being, that the real world isn't what you see on tv. They need real life lessons, let their parents & their religious leaders teach them about God. School isn't supposed to make children feel secluded, putting God in school would do just that.
As for Sandy Hook Elementary, please take the time to remember the name of just one child. They deserve that. We all know Adam Lanza's name, it will be imprinted in our minds, maybe associating him with the death of a person with a name will have more effect to get things done. I am remembering Catherine V. Hubbard, 6. I have had her name in my heart since I first saw a list of names, then when I saw a group of pictures I said, I bet she's that beautiful red head. I was just going to let that be her in my heart, until now, I googled her name (so I was sure to be giving her correct age) & I am rather unnerved that she in fact is the beautiful red head. I am shaken to the core. Beautiful, Catherine, I hope justice is served in your name & the name of every other victim of this horrific event.
I don't feel like there is anything I can do to help, since I'm a) Canadian b)just a Stay-at-home-Mom & c)know nothing about what I could do to begin to help...so instead I will sit here ranting on the internet to whoever cares to read it. I hope that justice is carried out in whatever way possible. I hope these victims will be the last we hear of who have their lives taken in such a manner. I hope....
The loss of the lives of those 20 beautiful children crushed the hearts of parents near & far. I can't stop thinking about those babies. The oldest of them was 7, how is that possible? How did twenty children get massacred? How did this happen in a 'civilized' society? I don't understand it all.
In the days following, people have been giving their vastly differing points of view. Some of these people have been Pastors who use the pulpit to spread hate, some are psychotic jackasses like the Westboro Baptist Church, most, however, are Moms & Dads like you & I. We've heard it's lack of gun control, lack of help for mental health, lack of this or that. The fact is, it doesn't matter what it is, what matters is that they take action on all the small factors that add up to the 14th of December happening.
I've been enraged many times in the last five days over the suggestion that it's about putting 'God' back in school. This, to me, is complete foolishness. It's insulting. It's a lack of caring for other people. It is segregation of sorts. Sure, Christians believe in Jesus & God, and that is great for them but what about the mass amount of children in schools who don't believe in Jesus OR God?? The Hindu children, the Muslim children, the Jewish children, the Buddhist children, even *gasp* the Atheist/Agnostic children!
God has no place in schools, none, whatsoever. He should be in the hearts of the children who believe in Him. If they want to pray, I believe it is their right to do so, to try & force their beliefs on another child, though, is not right. North America is made of so many cultures & religions that no one religion should be forced upon anyone. It's like saying, sorry, we are now forcing you to eat pork in school. Some religions don't believe in eating pork, but hey, who cares what they believe, we want our bacon!!!
Anyone who believes that God being in schools could have stopped this horrific event, needs to give their head a shake, really hard...then possibly check yourself into the nearest psych ward. God had no way to stop this. Humans did this. We did this ourselves, to ourselves. Western society is to blame for this. The acceptance of violence, the allowing it to continue, that is what caused this.
The guns...oh..America, what is with your love affair with guns. Why does anyone need to have the 'right' to own a semi-automatic killing machine? If you want your shotguns, fill your boots! Chances are no one is getting very far in a mass shooting with a shotgun...chances are someone attempting to shoot up a school with a shotgun is going to get jumped...chances are America is not going to let go of the death grip on guns and that terrifies me.
I've thought of those 20 babies every single day, I can't stop thinking of them. They were massacred with a Bushmaster XM-15 .223-caliber semi-automatic assault-style rifle. What the hell!?! Isn't America supposed to be a civilized society? Why does that style of gun need to be owned for protection? Who is coming for anyone that would require a weapon of that stature to protect themselves or their families?! Last time I checked there wasn't any army of hate so fierce that any person would require a semi-automatic assault-style rifle for protection at home in the Western world, anyhow.
I am really angry at the people who believe in God & think he should be in schools because it's selfish. It is just the most selfish thing I have ever heard! Why is your God better than the God anyone else believes in? What makes your God the 'right' one?? Also, does your God not teach you that he is always with you? I believe he does, because I was brought up to believe in him. You don't need him in schools.
I know that religion is a very controversial subject, so I want to VERY clear. If you believe in Jesus, God, Allah, Buddha, the Universe, or if you don't believe in anything at all, I very, very much believe it is your right to do so, but please don't preach that your beliefs are better than that of anyone else. Please don't try & convince me that if the higher power you believe in was in schools, these horrific acts wouldn't happen. I think we can pretty much guarantee that on December 14th, Adam Lanza was not thinking about what God would think, I don't think if he believed in God that it would have mattered, because what he did that day, he did with malice. I don't think being taught about God in school would have made him stop & say 'hmmm, maybe I shouldn't massacre 20 innocent children & 6 adults...yeah, that would make God mad'. You don't need God to know right from wrong.
Morals & ethics are what children need to be taught. They need to be taught the regular subjects, but they need to be taught compassion, the value of another human being, that the real world isn't what you see on tv. They need real life lessons, let their parents & their religious leaders teach them about God. School isn't supposed to make children feel secluded, putting God in school would do just that.
As for Sandy Hook Elementary, please take the time to remember the name of just one child. They deserve that. We all know Adam Lanza's name, it will be imprinted in our minds, maybe associating him with the death of a person with a name will have more effect to get things done. I am remembering Catherine V. Hubbard, 6. I have had her name in my heart since I first saw a list of names, then when I saw a group of pictures I said, I bet she's that beautiful red head. I was just going to let that be her in my heart, until now, I googled her name (so I was sure to be giving her correct age) & I am rather unnerved that she in fact is the beautiful red head. I am shaken to the core. Beautiful, Catherine, I hope justice is served in your name & the name of every other victim of this horrific event.
I don't feel like there is anything I can do to help, since I'm a) Canadian b)just a Stay-at-home-Mom & c)know nothing about what I could do to begin to help...so instead I will sit here ranting on the internet to whoever cares to read it. I hope that justice is carried out in whatever way possible. I hope these victims will be the last we hear of who have their lives taken in such a manner. I hope....
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Spirituality
I think a person Spirituality is something that can't be argued or debated, it's something very personal and with that said here I go.
Spirituality is something so very foreign to me. I feel as if there is so much more to life. I feel like I'm missing something. I don't have a 'God' to pray to -or do I? I flip flop a lot.
I want to believe, to have 'faith' in the unknown, the uncertain, but it just isn't a part of my character to do so. I question things, challenge them, rationalize them. There is no rationality to 'God'. This almighty being or spirit or whatever, that sees all, hears all & has the power to do whatever he chooses, yet he chooses to do nothing.
Floods, fired, famine, genocide, climate change, rampant diseases, poverty and so many other issues go unresolved without help from 'God'.
I get so frustrated with the uncertainty I feel. I'd really like to be able to resolve my feelings one way or another. Maybe there is a 'God' somewhere who believes in my ability to find him one day, and I just have to sift through all the junk clouding my head first....who knows??
Spirituality is something so very foreign to me. I feel as if there is so much more to life. I feel like I'm missing something. I don't have a 'God' to pray to -or do I? I flip flop a lot.
I want to believe, to have 'faith' in the unknown, the uncertain, but it just isn't a part of my character to do so. I question things, challenge them, rationalize them. There is no rationality to 'God'. This almighty being or spirit or whatever, that sees all, hears all & has the power to do whatever he chooses, yet he chooses to do nothing.
Floods, fired, famine, genocide, climate change, rampant diseases, poverty and so many other issues go unresolved without help from 'God'.
I get so frustrated with the uncertainty I feel. I'd really like to be able to resolve my feelings one way or another. Maybe there is a 'God' somewhere who believes in my ability to find him one day, and I just have to sift through all the junk clouding my head first....who knows??
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