Worthless

I've been really down the last few days. I've tried to ignore it but the sadness is bigger & stronger than I am.

My head feels very tired. So many things spinning around. I'm trying really hard to decipher what's real from what is just my depression taking over. The line between the two is very slight & that sometimes makes it harder to think clearly.

I am so grateful for Katie, she's really the only reason I get up every day. She's the reason I haven't randomly quit my job, she's the reason I'm still alive. I, literally, owe my life to her.

I'm sitting in the lunchroom at work before my shift starts & it is taking everything in my power not to go into the bathroom & cry my face off. The sadness is gripping my every breathe, thought & movement, today. It's hard to function like this.

It's embarrassing to say this & really mean it but I feel worthless. I feel like no one likes me & why would they? I'm a bitch. Plain & simple.

My internal dialogue is extremely mean & degrading. I wish I could shut it up. I wish I felt worthy of anything good. I wish I wasn't me.

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