As the big day draws nearer, I find I'm spending more time daydreaming about our girl. What will she look like, will she have hair, will she have my nose or my ears, maybe she'll have long eyelashes like both her Daddy & I. I picture her in my head & wonder if she is anything like I expect her to be, or if she'll look completely different and surprise me. I'm expecting a baby with big dark eyes & a head full of dark hair, but who knows, maybe she'll have red hair & blue eyes, it's not impossible with our genes.
I also spend a lot of time wondering about how I'll be as a first time mother. Will I have the patience I need, the ability to know how to soothe her & take care of her?? It's all so overwhelming & wonderfully exciting.
I'm now 9 months pregnant, 36 wks....so any day now our girl could show up. I'm so looking forward to just laying my eyes on her & knowing that she's ours. She is our daughter, our new purpose in life will be to ensure her happiness & safety, and I cannot wait for this journey to begin.
Right now I'm sitting in my chair with my feet up as the Doctor instructed, I have our balcony door open, Muffin is laying by the door, my little princess is moving around in my tummy, and the tears of pure happiness are streaming down my face. I don't know what I did in life to deserve such happiness, but I am grateful for it.
Many people have asked me if I'm afraid of giving birth, and maybe I'm naive to say no, but I'm not afraid of the act of giving birth at all really. I'm more afraid of raising a child, of being responsible for someone other than myself, of being her everything for the first years of her precious life, but somehow, I know I'm capable of doing a good job of it. I don't know what makes me believe that I can do this & do it well, but I just know that I can.
Less than 4 weeks until my due date....I can't wait to meet you precious girl....your Mama loves you!
As a first time mother myself (with a 11 week old baby), I know what you mean when you fear raising a child. So far, my experience has been that it is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life, but on the other hand, it is also the easiest because it comes so naturally. I have never loved doing anything more. Motherhood is such a wonderful experience. Enjoy!
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