The unknown..

I'm overwhelmed.
For at least three weeks my IBS has been out of control. Worse than I can ever remember. It was bad enough for me to go to the Doctor, who technically is a LPN, but she is better than any certified Doctor I've ever seen.
Two weeks ago she suggested I try probiotics & gave me a prescription to take at bedtime, ordered bloodwork & the oh-so-pleasant stool samples. Awesome. Except I'm still sick.
My bloodwork was only scheduled for next Thursday. This is asinine, in my opinion, I'm sick now. So back to my LPN I went today. She gave me 2 new RX's to take with the current one & sent me to the hospital as a walk-in to get everything done. 6 viles of blood & a paper bag full of sample collecting 'goodies' later, and I'm home.
I know IBS isn't cancer, I know it isn't life threatening, but something it is, is life altering.
A lot of people don't even know what IBS is, but to those who it affects, either personally or as a loved one, they know that this is a rotten, terrible, often embarrassing & painful 'syndrome' to have.
I'm focusing on the positive though, I have a medical professional who is really working with me to get me better & I'm so grateful for that.
I'm also overwhelmed because my father was diagnosed last week with prostate cancer.  Early stages for the most part & I really don't think for even 2 seconds that this is it for him. It's just that hearing the words 'your father has prostate cancer', to know that my Daddy, the man who means more to me than almost anyone...has cancer...it pisses me off.
I guess I'm sad too, I'm sad that my Dad has to go through all of this. I'm sad that my Mom will stress & worry herself sick over this. I'm sad that in a time when a new life is soon coming into our family, we have to deal with this.
I just want to scream Fuck you, cancer! Fuck. you. Leave my Daddy alone!
I wish it was that easy to make it go away, but at least they caught it fairly early & my Dad will get better.
The unknown is what scares me, I don't know what to expect. Both with my IBS & with my Dad's treatment. I'm not a fan of the unknown. Just like when I was growing up, I wasn't late for curfew, I didn't know what would happen if I was, but I wasn't about to find out...the damn unknown.
I love how writing this all down & releasing it from my head makes me feel a little less crazy.  Also, writing it down has allowed me to find some positives. I am going to get my IBS under control, my Dad will soon be cancer free & our family will be able to be happy together & celebrate my brother's son who will join us in a little over a month.
It will get better. I just know it.